Communication is complex: How the Feedback Loop changes the game.
Communication is complex.
This year as the 4th of July approached, I had been feeling a lot of frustration, anxiety, guilt (white guilt), and I saw a post by an entrepreneur I admire and follow, John Henry and felt a bit…relieved.
His post felt in some way like ‘permission’ to celebrate both sides of who I am, an American, and an individual who adamantly supports equality and recognizes the true freedom of Juneteenth and I was compelled to share some thoughts.
I received a few comments and posts directly on my post about people who felt some appreciation and relief, I also received some more complex feedback and wanted to share so as I’m learning / un-learning — so those who are interested can do so alongside me!
Bare with me for a minute while I geek out on communication in general, as well as my gratitude for the two incredible women who blessed me with feedback in a loving way.
One of the most important elements of the communication process is feedback and the feedback loop. Various areas of breakdown can occur here, and this ‘loop’ has been studied and reviewed and is… BY FAR one of my favorite communication lessons’ (yes I’m the kid who decided to major in communication in my undergrad program, to which my father responded, “Really? You’re going to college to learn how to talk?”).
The Feedback Loop lesson has stuck with me and has been a guiding compass, or “key” to my practice of communication and something that I regularly think on, go back to, reference and try to put into practice:
‘The Process of Communication: Feedback Loops’
This whole process, the steps between a source (person initiating the message) and receiver (person receiving the message whether intentionally directed to them individually or outwardly on social media) that result in the transference (exchange of information) and understanding of meaning, the encoding and decoding, is called the communication feedback loop.
It’s helpful to also consider the channel of communication, the medium by which the message travels —posts, texts, emails, videos, comments, IRL—when applying this concept as the approaches can vary and some channels inherently create or leave space for more noise than others.
So —there’s the source or sender of a message— you—talking, posting, etc. You, the sender, have a thought. You put that thought into words, which is encoding the message. Then there’s a recipient of a message.
The message goes out into the world, and then it is decoded, or processed, by the recipient(s), who then decides on the meaning of your words through the decoding process. They read, hear, or receive your words and consider the meaning—put simply, they’re listening.
The message the source intends/says/shares is in the process of being decoded. Encoding and decoding don’t always happen seamlessly. Decoding is unique to the receiver’s personal experience and points of reference.
Some communication is considered “doomed” to be misunderstood before your words are even formed, due to the potential fundamental differences between the source and receiver. When this happens, there’s a gap in the communication process called ‘noise’. A big part of noise is all of the life experience we have that makes each of us view things in our own way, our perception.
In order to unlearn, and learn, we need to work together to cut through the noise.
We work together to create real impact to truly “advance inclusion” by giving feedback.
Feedback can come in a variety of forms, and each form has varying levels of effectiveness based on the same ‘noise’ and encoding and decoding process and principles that the source message goes through (including delivery, channel, noise).
In giving you feedback your recipient is letting you know that your message has something wrong or inaccurate about it, or informing you that you’ve been misunderstood.
At this point, you can ask some clarifying questions to determine what you missed, messed up, or didn’t consider. You then have the opportunity to address those issues on your next attempt to communicate your message.
One of the major barriers (especially in conversations about race and injustice) is thinking it’s about YOU personally or getting defensive/putting up walls— which can happen from either or both, the source and the receiver— which then perpetuates the noise rather than completing the communication loop. The process and the feedback loop are key to creating shared understandings.
This is the feedback I received from the post above:
(Click on images to enlarge)
The above screenshots are the feedback I received when a member of the FWD community reached out, let me know how my words made her feel, articulated it to me and helped to educate me while being incredibly kind, and allowing me space to learn. This type of feedback ultimately builds bridges.
Then about two weeks later a former classmate of mine reached out. She had joined the FWD (For Women & Diversity) Community group and sent an email to me to explore volunteering and we hopped on a call to catch up! She said “you know, I saw what you were doing and always appreciated it from the sidelines. But, it was when I saw your Juneteenth post that I thought, ‘She gets it’ and I had to reach out. I knew you from school but it’s been real to see you’re someone who is putting in the work to create real change.”
For context: the two women who reached out about this post are both Black women and are generally around the same age demographic and I am a White woman.
I share both women’s feedback and all of our demographics here to show that people can and will react and feel very different from what you say, and share online. Their reactions are ultimately a representation of various elements of the noise that creates their perception and something to dive into, rather than take offense to or take personally, especially while you’re in the learning / unlearning process of allyship and practicing meaningfully being anti-racist.
While you consider your communication practice and approach sharing feedback, be mindful in considering the variables of the feedback loop — this will lead to building bridges versus barriers and create connections that can move us all forward towards more meaningful conversation and truly create an impact.
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Source for lesson references and diagrams: https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wm-organizationalbehavior/chapter/the-process-of-communication/
This piece is also published on the FWD Collective website along with other posts from me and posts from our contributor network. Click here if you’d like to check out more!